For JJ: Our Nominee For Canada’s Craziest Blogger
JJ has opened an amusing discussion on a category that never made the CBAs: Canada’s Craziest Blogger. She’s not talking the usual folks so hobbled by ideology that they can’t think: she’s talking batshit hide-the-forks nuts.
There’s no shortage of candidates, of course, including some people who cheerfully blog about their own spectacular and recurring mental collapses. But in my opinion, one candidate stands out, tall and proud, against the backdrop of mere eccentrics, paranoids and neurotics. That is, of course, the inimitable Canadian Sentinel.
In just the past week, my nominee has:
a) Argued in back to back posts that Obama is a racist seeking black domination of American, AND that he’s trying to “massacre” millions of black babies through health care reform. (Does that seem counter-intuitive to you?)
Best quote:
The Wealthy Elite Few who are onside with all of this shit tend to be corrupt and evil anyway. Hey, we’ve got genocides and holocausts going on all the time as we speak. Most of the time they go unreported by the Big Old Media. And the countries commiting the genocides usually get left alone. It’s as if the Elites and the Big Old Media don’t care. It’s as if they want it to be happening, so that’s why they look the other way. Weirdly, though, they, ironically, hypocritically bash tiny, human-rights-respecting-and-promoting Israel for its falsely alleged “genocide” against the “Palestinians”. Imagine that! These same folks support the evil United Nations!! They push the Big Lie of “manmade global warming/catastrophic climate change”. They want to control the lives of everyone in the world via a global governing regime, to hell with national sovereignty, democracy, freedom, human rights…all of this shit fits together in one big, evil puzzle. Of course, lazy-minded folks who pay little or no attention to what’s happening in the world will not see what I’m talking about. Too bad they’re out of touch with reality, like the world was whilst Hitler’s Nazis plotted World War Two and the Final Solution.
Wow. Racism, Nazis, Israel, secretly evil big media, secret evil secret elites, black genocide, abortion, evil fake climate change fanatics, secretly evil UN – all in one glorious revelation. Now THAT’S value in blogging.
b) Defended a convicted flasher who exposed himself to a seven year old in Virginia, because gays at a restricted street festival in San Francisco have sex. (Don’t spend TOO much time looking for a logical connection between those two ideas. You’ll hurt your brain.)
So he was bareassed. In his own kitchen in his own home. How many of us have done stuff like that in our own homes, bareassed? Plenty of us, at one time or another (hey, we were alone; it was our own home, so so what?). So what’s the big deal? The big deal is that some woman peeped into his window whilst trespassing on his property and saw his winky. WTF?! She trespassed, a criminal offence. She acted as a peeping tom, a criminal offence. She leered at him, staring slack-jawed at his weewee. Then she called the cops on HIM!
(This one had a hilarious comments thread in which Scenty attempted, with rising levels of annoyance, to defend his defense of man who exposes his – err – “weewee” – to a seven year old boy. Scenty apparently realized at some point that position might be misunderstood, and deleted the thread. Steve, I have the screen cap.)
c) A teenage kid steals a gun, money, a car and his under-age girlfriend, absconds to another state, triggers am amber alert, is apprehended and told not to contact the girl, does so, and is sentenced. His sentence includes the provision that his probation officer must approve future dates.
This punishes the guy for being straight. It discriminates against him for being straight! The judge must’ve been drinking some really hard-left koolaid. Likely either pink or purple. 100 proof, at least. Maybe the judge is a deranged homosexual sadist who delights in persecuting folks for being heterosexual. You know, the stupid judge obviously didn’t consider that the youthful criminal might be a bisexual, or that he might convert to homosexuality just to spite the judge. Also, I can guarantee that this judge wouldn’t dare do the same thing to a homosexual car thief who went on a joyride in the vehicle with his boyfriend. Oh, no… the militant gay community would have him castrated and crucified and he’d be removed from the bench, his life ruined forever. But it’s ok to bash straight folks for whatever reason. Straight folks don’t have a militant wing poised ready to instantly make any hetero-hating monsters pay for their offences. Perhaps straights should have a powerful, well-funded militant wing, too, so their equality under and before the law can be guaranteed, not violated.
Now, mind you, this is all in the last three days. Past greatest hits include terrified speculation that a NORAD alert meant that giant asteroid was about to hit the earth; that a flock of dead birds meant a secret bioweapons attack; that I am a communist Chinese spy; that Muslims were building a secret device to disable the US with a Giant EMP Weapon. I could go on for pages, but I think my nomination stands.
Any other nominees think they can knock my man out of the rign?
What does this guy do for a living? Does he still live in his mother’s basement?
I actually figured that out about a year and a half ago, but we don’t out people here. He’s in IT. (surprised?)
Can we have another category for ‘Craziest Troll’? I’ll nominate Bocanut!
I would have nominated Dodo, but your catalogue of examples has convinced me. Scenty it is.
IMHO, nobody tops the whack-job who calls himself the Raging Tory. Here’s two examples:
- “Turns out I had serotonin withdrawal, due to some mess ups with an anti-depressant I’m on. All good, now.”
- “Unfortunately, my application for the Reserves was rejected, as what information I had for them was not good enough. I’ve had a rough life, and it has led to difficulty in finding the correct information.
When I say rough, I don’t mean leaving on the streets. Obviously, I’ve never had it that rough. What I mean is my inability to stay in one place or hold a steady job. My lack of order and discipline is part of my reason for wanting to join the Reserves. It is a place where I would gain that order and discipline.
I’m going to see what I can do about my application. However, at this point, my chances of joining the Reserves seem to be rather slim.
Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.”
Hmm, it’s kinda hard to tell if this guy should be used as an argument for or against strong prescription medications.
I can’t think of a better nominee, then again I’m afraid to try.
For sheer lunacy, there is another…...
You make a pretty strong case for your nominee.
If he doesn’t win, I’m thinking we should at least name the award after him… the Canadian Scentinel Award for Outstanding Brain Damage (”the Scenty”).
You guys are like cruel sniggering kids.
On the other hand, I only visit maybe a dozen blog sites but Sentinel certainly stands out.
“You guys are like cruel sniggering kids.”
Dude. Scenty has published my name, employer and phone number. He accused me of being a Chinese communist spy. He’s edited, censored, and deleted my comments. Plus, he IS nuts.
So give me a break.
Considering all those things, I think we might have a hard time coming up with anyone in Scenty’s league. He might even need his own category. Then again, that’s what the Top Spot is for — Most Catastrophic Brain Damage.
We shall see. Let the nominations flow!
@balbulican –
Oh, well that’s not nice of Sentinel.
Congratulations(assuming you have as much info on him as he had on you) on taking the higher ground and not outing him. Break granted.
So, does he live in his mother’s basement?
BTW, why are you wasting your employers time checking up on your postings?
You a time thief?
I AM my employer.
And no, he doesn’t live in his mother’s basement.
Dr. Roy scares me. I mean, he really is a doctor…
After a decade like this, I’ve kind of gotten bored with “the crazy.” I still haven’t gotten a bead on what is causing “the crazy,” so I’ve decided to just go crazy myself and assume it’s a conspiracy among the publishers, editors and producers in our corporate media. You have to admit there’s a compelling economic argument to be made in support of it; I can’t imagine a market more amenable to the types of goods and services our economy is now producing (or rather, importing) than one that’s made up of people who are mostly irrational. Besides, we have very good evidence that demonstrates that a lot of journalists, the pundits at any rate, are loony.
How about we have a contest to determine who’s the most sane?
Mark: I know, I know…like I keep saying, Dr. Roy actually has a license to tell you to take your clothes off and stick pointy things into you. THAT’S scary.
Hang on…I take that back. I did get a bead on “the crazy” quite a while ago…it’s really a state of prolonged adolescence (which is in fact, a stage when we all go crazy), which some people (Benjamin Barber, for one) has attributed to socio-economic factors; a consumer culture that encourages adolescence, even when it’s ostensibly promoting something “grown up,” like “working families” (which always remind me of children playing house). I just haven’t seen it get much traction in public discussion.
Sorry…Back on-topic. Craziest blogger? Ezra Levant. No contest.
Well, JEEZ, don’t be telling me. Tell JJ!! Get over there and nominate him!
(Sweeney Todd was an economist?)
balbulican’s employer is a real ASSHOLE
@balbulican on December 21st, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Mark: I know, I know…like I keep saying, Dr. Roy actually has a license to tell you to take your clothes off and stick pointy things into you. THAT’S scary.
Bend over and cough
Well, JEEZ, don’t be telling me. Tell JJ!! Get over there and nominate him!
I actually thought her contest is about “the craziest thing” in 2009, not the craziest blogger. But I shall, although Ezra’s insanity is really hard to pin down…and is not amusing or interesting at all, at all.
Ti-Guy
Originally I thought we might find some crazy in Canadian politics and media along the same lines as what we see south of the border, where at least half of the politicians and a significant portion of the media people are stark raving batshit. However, with a few notable exceptions like Cheryl Gallant and that crazy stalker chick, Canadian politicians and media seem to be fairly sane, overall.
In Canada the blogosphere supplies most of the Crazy, so it’s from that rich pool that we draw our best examples of it.
However, with a few notable exceptions like Cheryl Gallant and that crazy stalker chick, Canadian politicians and media seem to be fairly sane, overall.
That is the big difference. In the US, the crazy quite often has high-level, political support among Senators and Congresspersons. Remember how many of them refused to distance themselves from the crazy notion that Obama hadn’t even been born in the USA. In Canada, we don’t see that much of it, in part due to Harper gagging his caucus, I’m sure, but also because the media in this country is just not fractured enough for any particular bit of crazy to remain unchallenged/unexposed even to people who would dearly love to believe it.
Which is why I get nervous when wingnuts like “Hunter” claim she doesn’t follow any mainstream news media anymore, but rather gets all her news from The Blogging Tories. Restricting oneself to echo-chambers is how the American Right has managed to become so deranged.
I nominate ‘the blogging tories’ who will ban anyone that disagrees with them and without notice. They seem to dislike intelligent discussion coming from either side of the political spectrum.
What do they think this is, the U.S.?
Gotta go with this guy: http://www.warrenkinsella.com/
In fact, I’d say he out crazies crazy to capital “C” Crazy.
Even crazier than Levant, sooey?
C’mon. Try to remain objective.
I gotta calls em like I reads em. Levant is way saner’n Kinsella. Way.
But who’s blog is gayer? Raymi’s? Or Kinsella’s? That’s the questions I would put to you.
Is that a nomination then? I need to keep track.
However, with a few notable exceptions….Canadian politicians and media seem to be fairly sane, overall.
That’s us, all right. Sane. And nice. And polite. And respectful. And quiet. All and all, as exciting as melba toast. Thank goodness there are the Swedes to make us look like wild and crazy guys.
I say what this country needs is more, not fewer, Scentys. Get on it, ok, balb?
No, it’s not a nomination. He’s too crazy. I should probably stay below his radar. Forget I said anything. I’ll change my name and move to another city just to be safe. The next time I post, it’ll be as… “shooey”.
By the way, if you were Ezra, you’d be crazy, too. I’m just sayin’.
That’s us, all right. Sane. And nice. And polite. And respectful. And quiet. All and all, as exciting as melba toast.
Since when did Canadians become synonymous with politicians and the media?
In any case, my standard response to any foreigner (usually a dull and boorish crank) who accuses Canadians of being boring is: “Too right! If it weren’t for us, you Americans/British/French would have no standard by which to judge how essentially fascinating each and every last one of you are.”
Try it the next time some impertinent foreigner accuses you of being boring.
Actually, I have found transforming before their eyes into a six foot, carnivorous beaver with robotic claws and laser eyes to be effective in such instances, but it does require practice.
I pulled the car over to look at the map the last time I was in Toronto. Leaning against the hood with the map, I looked up to see this man hunched over and apparently mumbling to himself. Some vendor on my side of the street seemed to recognize this guy and called out to him. Which provoked an unexpected – for me – response as the man turned toward the vendor and began to scream: “F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off!”
The vendor yelled out “Hello” and waved at the man who responded by yelling at the top of lungs: “F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off! F**k off!”
I’ve always wondered if that was Scenty.
Don’t think so. Scenty lives in New Brunswick. It might have been Wendy Sullivan in drag, though.
Of course, there was that time in Moncton…
Actually, I have found transforming before their eyes into a six foot, carnivorous beaver with robotic claws and laser eyes to be effective in such instances, but it does require practice.
The other tactic I have to is to quote from some book I found in a remainder bin a long time ago that even the Internet has forgotten. I think the title was A Beginner’s Guide to Canada or A Guide to Canadian Humour or something like that. It had a chapter called “The Crashing Bores of Canada” and the introduction went something like this: “How boring are we? Too boring by half! For a long time, the Danish held the top spot as the World’s most boring people until they slipped below Canadians in 1659 on the strength of the mildly-interesting Siege of Copenhagen.”
It then went on to describe the regional varieties of Canadian bores: the Vancouver Bore, who talks about how mild the weather is and explains that those mountains aren’t the Rockies, but the Coastal Range, the Toronto Bore who talks about how World-classy the city is, the Montreal Bore who rages about how the French are taking over and who’d move to Toronto if it weren’t for the food, the lack of culture and the people who live there, etc.
We probably are boring. I think it’s mostly because our cranks don’t give us much to work with; all dreary and sour and conservative and whatnot…
I quite like Ti-Guy’s comeback line and shall keep it in reserve, although it’s a little long for after a few drinks when one is most likely to need it. Still, it is healthy for us to take the digs others who know us throw our way. Michael Moore did some of his best stuff at our expense here and here.
I cringe when I imagine foreigners watching the characters in Tim Horton’s ads. Plus in what other country would women unite to fight for the legal right to go topless in public and then celebrate their victory by voting unanimously never to exercise it?
Wow, the sentinel really is special…..maybe he knows a bunch of things we don’t?
Throughout history, some of the most astonishing minds have rarely been understood, and often their brilliance was not recognized until decades or centuries later. Don’t you see?
I see.
I’m sure he’d be the first to agree with you, T.
@sooey –
Not a nomination? Duly noted.
I think you mean “shooey”.
Sooey was abducted from a hotel swimming pool in downtown Toronto and sold into the Saudi Arabian white slave trade.
I just spent 20minutes over at Scenty’s and I think he’s a lock for #1. I was laughing so hard I was almost crying.
Anyway, I’ve got him bookmarked now…
You know what’s depressing?
Without any effort, I can think of three Canadian conservative websites that meet ALL of JJ’s criteria for crazy: demonstrably delusional, conspiratorial worldview, and the rest.
I cannot think of three conservative Canadian websites where civil, intelligent discussion is the norm.
Can anyone correct me on that?
Doesn’t it make you itch? I went over there and found myself scratching all over. He kind of reminds me of this guy who lived in his station wagon with about 20 dogs and never seemed to do anything else but drive around, park near the river to swear at tourists, and drive around some more. Very strange man. He died alone except for those 20 or so dogs. He made me itch too.
I cannot think of three conservative Canadian websites where civil, intelligent discussion is the norm.
I’m not going to take up that challenge, but I don’t think the record is all that better on your side. Plenty of leftist trolls about and far, far too many comment threads, even following interesting posts, feature little but a succesion of one-liners about how racist/wacko/stupid “conservatives” are or other tiresome yuck-yucks. Really, what you folks have done with that word has revived the noble science of alchemy. Spewing bile from basements is an equal opportunity hobby, it seems.
Which is why this place is different and we are all in your and SL’s debt.
BTW, balb, I now have a large stack of back issues of The Beaver beside my bed ready for my post-Christmas anti-social hibernation. Many thanks.
Peter: yes, I heard. Very pleased to have midwifed their transfer. Did you get to chat with the donor at all? He’s an old friend, my first ever boss in the television industry, one of the unsung heroes of Aboriginal broadcasting in Canada, AND the guy who once had to walk into a studio and say: “Sorry, Mr. Zappa, that was a great ninety minute jam, but it didn’t get recorded” – and LIVED! A remarkable man.
On the quest for Three Wise Men on the conservative Canadian blogging scene – we’re not alone (or perfect) in trying to foster a climate of civil exchange, but there ARE others – Dawg, of course, James Bow, Saskboy, Shmohawk, JJ – these are all people who begin a discussion with the assumption of good faith and an interest in the idea. I’m not being obtuse, but I can’t think of three right wing sites where you could actually have a conversation without being screamed down – and frequently by the host.
Unfortunately, I was terribly rushed with pre-Christmas errands and I believe he was too, so we never got past pleasantries.
One of the keys to a successful blog is the involvement of the hosts in steering the comments, which is a big reason you and Dawg are so successful. Damien is a very thoughtful guy, but rarely comments, so the posts quickly become echo chambers. Dr. Dawg’s style seems to be to start with ideologically hard and inflammatory posts and then temper them with good discussion. SDA and Red Tory both have very challenging and interesting posts that quickly devolve into long, predictable comment threads about whose mothers wear army boots. Jay has some interesting stuff, but his penchant for conspiracy theory makes him manichean and too prone to accusations of bad faith and character flaws in his adversaries, with predictable “back at ya’” reactions. Far too many bloggers are just in it for the bar room insults and too many blogs just rely on the latest fruitcake pronouncements Google throws up and pretend they represent general threats from a tyrannical majority that isolated, right-thinking people must resist. Both sides do this as a matter of course. I often wonder: “Do you ever see a dislocate between what you encounter in cyber-space and what you encounter in your daily life?”
A good blog is hard work.
The fight to go topless in public was about discrimination and male society’s objectification of women. Winning the case in a court of law was, symbolically, very significant.
but I don’t think the record is all that better on your side. Plenty of leftist trolls about and far, far too many comment threads, even following interesting posts, feature little but a succesion (sic) of one-liners about how racist/wacko/stupid “conservatives” are or other tiresome yuck-yuck
This is why Canadians get accused of being boring.
We’re talking about bloggers here, not online nobodies plunking down one-line comments in which they’re investing nothing at all. Be that as it may, I’d dearly love to hear “who” exactly on *our* side is crazy? I could suggest a few, but since you made the claim, it behooves you to back it up.
“I’d dearly love to hear “who” exactly on *our* side is crazy?”
I have honestly been trying to think of ANYONE on “our” side as completely loco as Scenty or Dodo (just talking deeply delusional here, not the sociopaths like Shaildle.) They may exist, but I cannot think of anyone. I guess if I went looking I could find some crazy lefties who believe that Bush was flying United Flight 93 or something. But the right wing crazies are all fairly prominent.
Who knows what Peter’s referring to? He’ll never say, I’m quite sure.
The mild crazy among the lefties, as far as I’m concerned, are the identity politics obsessives, but I give them credit for at least having bothered to think long and hard about what they’re writing. And ultimately, you can’t fault people too much for being seized with matters that have a direct impact on how they choose to live their lives.
Anyway, I’m not being querulous just for the hell of. I’m just really sick and tired of these equivalences that seek to shut down critical thinking.