Overheard In Heaven: The REAL Reason It’s Freezin’
St. Peter: (Scanning the BT blogroll) “…and more of the usual crap. Muslim-baiting, gay-bashing, drivel about how only they really understand Your Will…”
God: (snorts) “Heh. Like THEY’D know.”
St. Peter: “I know.”
God: “Especially that one that always writes her name in capital letters. Capital Letters! Does she think she’s Me, or something?”
St. Peter: “I know, I know. Calm down. You know what happens when you get upset.”
God: (grumbles) “That was a long time ago.”
St. Peter: “Yeah. Still.”
God: “All right, allright.” (sighs) “So what else are the BTs on about this week?”
St. Peter: “That’s about it.” (Peering at monitor) “Oh, more climate change denial from some of the bloggers in Alberta.”
God: (begins to flush red.) “What the…I don’t believe this. Jesus Christ!”
Jesus Christ: “Yes?”
God: “Nothing, Son. Sorry. It’s just…I can’t believe these friggin’ guys are still in total denial. What’s it gonna take to convince them they’re heating up the planet?”
St. Peter: (shrugs) “No disrespect, Lord, but I don’t think they’d believe it if You Yourself announced it in the Western Standard.”
God: “Jesus Christ!”
Jesus Christ: “Yes?”
God: “Shut up, Son. So they don’t believe in Global Warming, eh? Okay.” (Stands, flexes fingers.) “The Almighty says All-righty. Let’s give them what they seem to want.”
(Reaches for the Prairie Region Celestial Thermostat…)
Dear Balbulican. Hell freezing over is nothing to joke about.
Robert McClelland
Hell freezing over is nothing to joke about.
Toronto has frozen over?
So, Balb, I take it you are ghost writer for Mr. Diety then?
LOL, very good.
Can I blame the BTs for the temperature here being a freakish 12-friggin’-below? Looks like the LORD also hit the BC celestial thermostat.
Whooee! You outdone yerself, Balbu. Good eavesdroppin’ at the pearly gates. I hear-tell we’re gonna get some weather here in Ontariariario, too. The snotty stuff always seems to blow in from the west. I wonder why… Levant blowin’ hot air’s got somethin’ to do with it, probbly.
Over in Merka, they blame all their cold weather on Canada. We ain’t got any northern scapegoats but we can at least blame them oily Alien Alberts fer sendin’ us their dang Alberty clippers an’ frigid airs.
JB
JimBobby
I wonder why… Levant blowin’ hot air’s got somethin’ to do with it, probbly.
I thought the hot air came from Ottawa
And it was only -14 C in Red Deer today. That the best you got God? C’mon!!!!
(ducks and covers)
I thought the hot air came from Ottawa
There’s plenty of it there, too, NB. ‘Cept I seen ol’ Ezra on the TV a coupla times lately an’ the pore feller looked like he was gonna blow a gasket. The House o’ Comments is off on a Perogie Party, so a lotta the hot air sources is back in their home ridings fer Christmas. They deserve a little time off. They ain’t sat since last May.
Maybe Ezra’ll get made a senator. Would that shut him up or make him worse?
JB