To HELL With The Coalition!
We have just learned that an informal cabal of unscrupulous, self-proclaimed “non-partisan” alleged “bloggers” are conspiring to rob Stageleft of our rightful recognition in the Canadian Blog Awards as the Best Non-Partisan Blog.
In a vile rejection of democracy, freedom and all that is good, this hastily assembled cadre of opportunistic glory hounds, well known to all under what might or might not be their REAL names, have treacherously allowed their names to stand in the voting.
Let’s just looks at these soi-disant “nominees” for a moment. This is not about US, oh, no: this is about knowing exactly how “democracy” can be subverted, all under the guise of “free choice”.
James Bow: look, we’d be the last to say that writing books for little children is kind of a weird thing for grownups to be doing. After all, Charles Dodgson did it, and apart from his fascination with naked photographs of prepubescent girls, he was normal, kind of. By all means vote for James if THAT’S the kind of thing you want to encourage.
Inkless Wells: Oh, yeah, MacLeans Magazine, all bow down. Shit, dude probably has, like, a zillion dollar budget and a limo and a chopper and shit. Shit, if WE had a limo and chopper we could do that too. Guts and raw talent, that’s all we have to go on here at the ole Bunker. But hey, if you want to sell out and support the MSM, sure, go for it.
Galloping Beaver: If your idea of a great blog is one whose title is a perfect anagram for “Anal Boggle Viper”, then you just go right ahead. We don’t think that sort of thing should be encouraged, ourselves.
Unambiguously Ambidextrous: Ahem. Next…
Nunc Scio: I am not one to give credence to unsubstantiated rumors or accusations, and I will NOT join those who accuse Nunc Scio of involvement in the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. I am absolutely confident that our curiosly anonymous “blogger” will soon produce the evidence required to rebut the admittedly impressive mountain of testimony from highly placed source that are highly suggestive of…welll, never mind, I said I wouldn’t monger rumours, and I won’t.
Now, “non-partisan” is a funny category. Its critics suggest unkindly that it simply means the blogger can’t make up their mind about what they believe. That may be true for the bloggers I just listed, but I can tell you this, Mr. and Ms. Canada – here at Stageleft, we know EXACTLY what we believe in.
We believe in the drops of dew sparkling like tiny diamonds on the tulips of April in our proud nation’s glorious capital city. We believe in the joyous cooing of a young baby in their mother’s arms. In the crisp tang of an autumn apple. In glorious sunsets over the Rockies. In the stern, grizzled profile of a tired lobsterman coming home from a hard day’s work off our majestic east coast. In the smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. In our moms. In peace and charity and love and puppies.
So here’s a simple challenge. Just visit any of the other blogs I’ve listed above, and tell me how many clear, unequivocal statements of support you can find for:
- dewdrops on tulips
- cooing of young babies
- autumn apples
- sunsets over the Rockies
- lobstermen
- chocolate chip cookies
- moms, peace, charity, love and puppies.
None, eh? How ’bout that. NOT…A…SINGLE…ONE.
So ask yourself – can you, in good conscience, even CONSIDER voting for someone who, given their utter and contemptuous absence of support, clearly hates mom, babies, lobstermen and puppies?
Hey, it’s your vote.
LOL.
I forgot to vote today…thanks for the reminder.
And congrats on reaching round 2.
(Go Dawg for Prog BLog!)
Ummm… nothing west of the Rockies? Toss in some Nanaimo Bars and you might have my vote
If I’m not mistaken, sunsets ARE west of the Rockies, after they’re OVER the Rockies. But heck, we believe in Nanaimo Bars too. I’m remembering an amazing night at the Queen’s Hotel a few years ago…now THAT was a Nanaimo bar…
Had you mentioned my boots — which used to be mine — I would’ve voted for you, Balby. But nooooooooooooo, all I got was tulips and dew drops and puppies.
Humph … pardon my flounce.
Pffft. We know EXACTLY which terrorist-loving blogger the Islamofascinazihomoenviropalieberanocommies at CC are voting for, Missy, and we wouldn’t HAVE your poopy vote.
Pay no attention to LuLu. She’s sucking up for an iPod again
I can also remember an amazing night or two at the Queen’s Hotel, or so I’m told.
I don’t get it. What happened at the Queen’s Hotel?
For your big fat information, CC does not speak for moi — as much as he might like to think he does. I have yet to vote for Best Non-Partisan Blog which means my vote is still very much up for grabs.
So you may commence waxing poetic about my boots — which are no longer mine — at any time.
One of these days you must explain how you manage to stay so cool, so aloof, so above the fray.
And by the way, you forgot whiskers on kittens.
@LuLu – Ahemmmmm… still waiting to see those new boots – which are yours.
Time to buy a new camera cable
What happens at the Queen’s Hotel stays at the Queen’s Hotel
Looks like a bar. I still don’t get it. Unless you 2 are boyfriends. Then I’ll get it.
An Ode To Lulu’s Boots
Warm, glowing dark skin tone of Zulus
Cool feminine moon-curves of ulus
Sheer style of J. Choo
Mystique of Manchu
These just HINT at the Boots that are Lulu’s.
Okay, it’s not Elliot, but who’s gonna give you better boot-love than that? In fact, for that little masterpiece, I think we rate a counteropinion at CC’s. That’s what I thinks.
It is a bar.
In Nanaimo.
Get it? It’s a Nanaimo Bar!
(Falls guffawing to floor, rolling and clutching sides in a fit of helpless hilarity.)
Oh…Ok…my bad…I think.
@Throbbin – Well, it was a bit of a feeble joke. However, I have performed in said hotel – not sure if Balbulican ever has – which, being close by the Nanaimo waterfront, has garnered a bit of a reputation over the years.
Come to think of it, there’s been trouble every time I’ve performed in a bar either in or in the vicinity of Nanaimo. Maybe I should have requested spawning salmon instead of Nanaimo bars.
You’ve performed in a bar called the queens?
Now I know you’re gay….not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Ummmm.. no. I’m just happy
balb: I played at the Queens
And I’m happy too. Like Frank.
The Queens is a classic Nanaimo Bar…but you have to taste one to really understand.
Frink – Touchè.
I never been to Nanaimo. Sometimes I wonder why I come to Stageleft….so many things just go right over my head.
Throbbin: Put Nanaimo (and Wall Drug) on your bucket list.