Progress In Iraq
For Immediate Release In “The Homeland”
Not For Public Release Inside Iraq
Translation Of This Document Strictly Forbidden
The State Department has advised all personnel at the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad that progress in Iraq is now so profound that they may not leave reinforced structures as incoming insurgent rocket fire has only killed two American government workers this week.
In a memo sent Thursday to embassy staff and obtained by The Bunker News Network, the department says that as a direct result of progress on the ground employees are now only required to wear helmets, body armor and other protective gear if they must venture outside, employees were further advised that they could even sleep in blast-resistant locations instead of the trailers that most occupy.
“Due to the continuing progress in the International Zone, all personnel are advised that they now only have to remain under hard cover at all times,” it says.
“Essential outdoor movements may now be sharply limited in duration,” the memo says, adding that personal protective equipment “is now only mandatory for all outside movements.”
“We are happy to advise personnel not to sleep in their trailers,” it goes on to say, offering celebratory space inside the Saddam Hussein-era palace that is the embassy’s temporary home as well as room at an as-yet uncompleted new embassy compound and a limited supply of cots.
In a separate notice to American citizens in Iraq, the embassy said the progress would remain in place “until further notice.”
The staff memo says all personnel under the authority of the chief of mission “are only required to wear body armor, helmet and protective eye wear any time they are outside of building structures in the International Zone. In a surprise announcement, chief of mission personnel in the International Zone have been advised that recent progress also now allows them to remain inside of hardened structures at all times.”
Flanked by Mitt Romney and Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. in a Utah airport hangar GOP presidential hopeful John McCain hailed this progress as “a significant milestone” in Iraq, and vowed to carry The Decider to the White House for a third term regardless of what the American people may decide in November.
(Yeah, I know, that’s not what the original said, but those traitorous AP ba$tards painted a picture so ugly that even Donals Rumsfeld’s mum couldn’t love it…. so I fixed it up for American consumption.)
Related: Iraq implodes as Shia fights Shia
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Wow, and I was cynical about this whole Iraq misadventure.
Interestingly, in other news the U.S. debt is now over $10 trillion, not the $12 trillion it could have been had a big-government Democrat been President.
Interestingly, in other news the U.S. debt is now over $10 trillion, not the $12 trillion it could have been had a big-government Democrat been President.
How divorced from reality do you have to be to continue peddling that bit of stinky cheese?
Robert it was satirical. Maybe my satire ain`t that good, but make no mistake that I loathe Bush Co. as much as anyone else.
I am very careful about the people I choose to hate. I do not hate Hillary or Obama, but I do disagree with their policies. Does this make me evil? No, it does not. I’m tired of all this bickering among us. It is up to you and me to come together on the those policies in which we do agree (such as FREE SPEECH, FREEDOM OF (NOT FROM) RELIGION, PRIVATE PROPERTY RIGHTS, etc.), and we need to keep a watchful and skeptical eye on every gov’t official. Especially those that answer to no one! Can I get an agreement on at least this?
Hey there, Stageleft. How is your weekend going? Sorry for tb’ing this so late, but I just ran across it. I published quite a few posts after it, and it got buried. It should not have, I agree. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, dear. Catch ya on the other side of the moon…
Wednesday’s Hero: 1st Lt. W. Bryan Jackson
Today is the day we put politics on the shelf and take the time to honor our men and women who are risking their very own lives to protect their team, their country, their families, and us. We honor them because they deserve our gratitude. We wil ……
Rough times
I’ve turned two evictions into two possible resolutions with the people involved being allowed to stay, other’s taxes, social security giving my money to someone else since December!, cigarrette taxes, plumber, accounting, bills, and all of this with…
Well, you can get agreement on 2 out of 3 from me Rosemary - I see no reasons why I cannot have freedom from religion as well. Far be it from me to even hint that people should not have the absolute right to believe as they wish, or even to try and convert others peaceably and unintrusively to their way of thinking, but I do not agree with any religion being muddled up or included in/with what should be the very limited business of the state.
As for my week-end (thanks for asking), with the exception of a going away party on Friday night it’s been nice and quiet….. full of reading (I currently have Terry Pratchett’s “Night Watch” on the coffee table), mundane tasks like laundry and planning for the bunkers ultimate benevolent world domination, and (of course) socializing with friends.
I hope yours is going equally well.