Let Us Not to the Marriage of True Minds Admit Impediment
All too often we bloggers tend to get caught up in the adversarial and the political. We forget that behind those tough rhetorical exteriors lie hearts and mind and – yes, I dare say it – tender passions. Such a passion has just come to light in the moronosphere, and, as a public service, the Bunker is putting its partisan leanings aside, and lending its weight to the course of True Love.
Our dear friend Canadian Scentinel strikes the first notes in Love’s Old Sweet Song with an indignant rebuff to Warren Kinsella.
“Dorky old Liberal Fascist Warren Kinsella. He claims that hot-babe conservative, number-one Canadian blogger, Kate McMillan has sent him emails inviting him to, well, have some unspecified sort of naughty fun with her when he visits Saskatchewan. Oh, really?”
Clearly offended by the notion of Hot Babe Number One Blogger Kate in the sack with Warren, Scenty really begins to sweat.
“Knowing Kate, at least from her blogging and from the occasional e-mail exchange re. blogosphere stuff and such, it’s my judgement that it’d be highly unlikely for such a thing to happen, certainly with respect to a geeky old moonbat poophead like Kinsella. While not impossible, in my humble opinion, I’d predict Kate would rather roll naked in a big pile of dung than roll in the hay with that washed-up Leftwing geekazoid.”
You know Scenty’s getting -errr – ARDENT – when the scat images start to pile up. Why, you can practically smell the sweat as he fantasizes about Kate “rolling naked” in a “big pile of dung”, can’t you?
But Scenty…don’t hold back, lad! Tell the lady how you feel!
Kate’s not just hot, she’s awesome. A master commercial artist. As smart as anyone could be. Most popular blogger in Canada. Biker babe, and a tough-as-nails one at that. Champion breeder of miniature schnauzers who always seem to win whenever entered in doggie-shows. Let me tell you, neither I nor Warren have a hope in heck of impressing a woman like Kate to the point of receiving “come-hither” emails from her.
Oh, my God, Scenty, stop. Please, it’s too hot for words. Rolling naked in dung, AND a breeder of miniature schauzers! How COULD any mortal hope to attract the attentions of such a goddess?
But Scenty…nothing ventured, nothing gained, my boy. Faint heart ne’er won fair maid! But what’s that you say…you’ve tried?
I once sent her a picture of myself just for the hell of it, just to say, “this is what I look like, eh?” and she didn’t send me any “come-hither” emails whatsoever, even though, in my humble opinion, I’m cuter and more shagworthy than Warren.
Scenty, I have no doubt that you’re cuter and more shagworthy than Warren, or even than a miniature schnauzer. I think she’s just playing hard to get, big guy.
Kate, how ’bout it? Remember – it’s only two weeks to St. Valentines Day. You have in your power to bestow that rarest and most precious of gifts – the opportunity to make another human being supremely happy. And think of the kids! Why, a generation with your looks and Scenty’s brains could launch a conservative dynasty to rival the one that Conrad Black and Barbara Amiel…okay, no, bad example. But heck, you probably don’t even have to sleep with the guy – a pair of panties by mail oughta do it.
C’mon, Kate, it’s the season of love. Waddya say?
I am honestly starting to feel pity for this kid. It’s not just his deranged detachment from reality that is so concerning, he is really close to the line on being slapped with a libel suit.
We have all been doing this long enough to know how Kinsella responds to personal attacks. At best, Kinsella will probably “out” the moron, at worst, he might even go after him legally. There won’t be enough Kleenex in the world for poor Scenty if either of those events takes place.
I actually sent him a friendly note last week alerting him to the activity at SDA around the Warman allegations (Scenty had, of course, jumped on it with both feet, parotting the original SDA line and adding a generous helping of “Poopyhead” references. But I don’t imagine Warman or Kinsella are too worried about the threat to their credibility posed by Scenty.
“But I don’t imagine Warman or Kinsella are too worried about the threat to their credibility posed by Scenty.”
Probably not. But since you had the courtesy to send him a note and he saw fit to escalate the rhetoric, he is headed in a direction that is not going to go well for him. It will be worse than good ole Anonologue, I suspect.
I think Scenty would welcome a lawsuit. With the way his brain works, I’m sure he’d love the opportunity to become “famous” by being sued by Kinsella.
Besides imagine the fun of Scenty dragging a cross around, occaisionally pausing to haul himself up on it to launch a rant about his personal persicution by evil liberal fascists.
“evil liberal fascists…”
Oh, come on, Don. When was the last time Scenty was ever victimized by anything as simple as “evil liberal fascists”?
Evil poopyhead liebranofascinazislamicommunoleftists, at the VERY least.
Balb,
I stand corrected. Especially with regards to the scat reference. His fascination with the subject is really creepy.
He is without a doubt a connoisseur of all things dung.
Well, I confess I’ve been fantasizing myself…McMillan, Shaidle AND Scenty. I guess that would be a “ménage à 2.5″?
Thanks for the morning laugh boys. I almost felt bad for poor Scenty when he wrote that he sent Kate his picture and he got no response. Almost.
I’m actually thinking of doing a doc on Scenty called Searching for the Sentinel. Any financial backers out there?
All of this reminds me of high-school. I can’t decide if it is more awkward or less awkward though. On the one hand, there is no face-to-face embarassment. On the other, this will live on forever in cyberspace.
It would be interesting to be a fly on the wall when those 2 hooked up – I suspect it would be something like this;
“The Vulcan time of mating is known as Pon Farr, and is a very painful and personal experience. It strips logic away from Vulcans, and forces them to return to Vulcan to take a mate. Spock compares the need to return to Vulcan to the Eel Birds of Regulus 5, who return every 11 years to the caverns where they hatched, and to salmon on Earth who must return to the stream where they were born in order to spawn.”
This poop fixation is getting disturbing. Here’s a quote from Scenty’s latest post:
“I particularly like the way he used the word “proctological”…
I shit you not.
“I shit you not.”
Ha!
I seen a movie a couplafew months ago called The Aristocrats. A buncha comedians all tell the same joke that’s too raunchy fer the genpop. I’d like to hear Scenty tell the joke. There’s a lotta fecal sex in most versions but I reckon he’d tackle it with a fetishist’s enthusiasm.
JB
I have a recurring dream where I’m dressed in a gopher costume tied up, ball-gagged being repeatedly spanked with a bible by Kate and Anne Coulter.
Is that wrong?
I seen a movie a couplafew months ago called The Aristocrats.
I loved that movie. Sarah Silverman and Bob Sagget were awesome.
Ah, it’s fun to wake up with you, balbulican. And I don’t say that to just anybody, y’know.
Well, that’s mighty kind of you, skdadl. Meanwhile, I just woke up to a ball-gagged guy in a gopher costume with Exodus stains on his butt. Shudder.
I regret to inform you:
You leave me with few other options than to consider reporting you to the CSPCSB – the Canadian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sentient Beings. At issue is your relentless put downs of the Being you refer to as “Scenty.”
You may – or may not – agree that “Scenty” qualifies as a “sentient being.” However, you cannot dispute that he qualifies in at least this respect:
He can communicate – at least in a non-verbal fashion; i.e., he can use a keyboard.
Whether nor not you consider what he taps out on that keyboard logical, mature, sane, balanced, measured, reasoned, or worthwhile is not the issue. The fact is – he can communicate.
Which, of course, leads to another consideration: He seems to wish to procreate with another “sentient” (elsewhere referred to as “the lovely KKKate”) in what he refers to as “proctological” stuff. Eee-yew! (Ahem. Uh, pardon me.)
This is further evidence that we are dealing with – like it or not — a complex biological organism with its own peculiar wants and needs. Therefore, they both qualify for protection from one of their worst enemies and most despised adversaries – the Canadian Human Rights Commission.
Sir, you have been informed. Should your actions in this regard continue, I shall have no other recourse but to continue reading.
Carry on.
(A Scentient being, shurely? Ed.)
I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks.
Poor scat-sniffing “Scenty”… He so wants to be raped by Nazis. Really… he fantasizes about it all the time in his various screeds. It’s kind of pathetic. KKKate plugs right into his febrile dreamworld, I guess.
Treehugger: “He is without a doubt a connoisseur of all things dung.”
Does that make him a shithead?
Thanks. I needed that.
what’s brown and is kkkate’s prefered tryst bedding and sounds like a bell?
KEvron
Peter D. “I’m actually thinking of doing a doc on Scenty called Searching for the Sentinel. Any financial backers out there?”
Well, Peter, I doubt Scenty could afford advertising like that. But I’m sure he’d take advantage of your coverage. Who knows, it’ll probably bring far more readers over to his site. Imagine the dough he could rake in from ad revenue and a PayPal tipjar! Also, should he go on to write books, the expansion of his notoriety as a popular and entertaining conservative analyst/pundit would only help him to sell more books.
I’m sure he’d welcome the free advertising. The more you lefty people talk about how much you hate this guy’s guts, the more conservative people will want to know what he has to say.
I don’t know anybody who “hates this guy’s guts”, ROTFLMAO. It’s just that he’s – delusional. I think the most common reaction, to be honest, is a blend of horrified fascination, amused pity, and a dollop of guilt for laughing at someone so clearly out of it.
And I wish him an enormous readership, especially among conservatives – that’s one reason I continue to tease him, to link to him, and to nominate him in various blog awards.The intelligent conservatives cringe with embarrassment, and the – errr – more like-minded ones are encouraged in their downward path toward catastrophic mental collapse. Both good things.
I think you guys should make him an honorary bunker brother.
Think about it – he’d be like a mascot, a muse, and a wealth of knowledge about terrorist plots and scatology, and would give you unlimited insight into the mind of the Canadian Conservative.
Think about it.