Those wacky folks in the Upper Right Quadrant sure know how to crack up their audience. Take “Five Feet of Fury” Kate Shaidle, who hilariously pretends to hate just about everything on the planet except for her Ann Coulter glow-in-the-dark five-speed dildo.

That madcap mistress of the “polemic” - she who brought us knee-slappin’ threads with titles like “What Do They Keep In Their Safe Deposit Boxes? Scraped Off Labias?” - returns to form with a new post entitled “Too Bad Those “Smallpox Blankets” Were A Hoax - We Sure Could Use A Few.”

The reference, of course, is to the practice of providing Aboriginal people with blankets infected with small pox, as a strategy for reducing the native population. Ms. Shaidle, that epitome of Christian Love, is expressing her displeasure at a memo circulated by a school board in Seattle which suggest that “Thanksgiving” might not be an occasion of great celebration for all native people.

Ha. (Long, long pause.) Ha.

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Historical Footnote on the “Hoax” Smallpox Blankets:

Lord Jeffrey Amherst was commander of British forces in North America during the French and Indian War (1756-’63). The following exchange between Amherst and a subordinate took place during Pontiac’s Rebellion, which broke out after the war, in 1763.

Forces led by Pontiac, a chief of the Ottawa who had been allied with the French, laid siege to the English at Fort Pitt.According to historian Francis Parkman, Amherst first raised the possibility of giving the Indians infected blankets in a letter to Colonel Henry Bouquet, who would lead reinforcements to Fort Pitt. No copy of this letter has come to light, but we do know that Bouquet discussed the matter in a postscript to a letter to Amherst on July 13, 1763:

P.S. I will try to inocculate the Indians by means of Blankets that may fall in their hands, taking care however not to get the disease myself. As it is pity to oppose good men against them, I wish we could make use of the Spaniard’s Method, and hunt them with English Dogs. Supported by Rangers, and some Light Horse, who would I think effectively extirpate or remove that Vermine.

On July 16 Amherst replied, also in a postscript:

P.S. You will Do well to try to Innoculate the Indians by means of Blanketts, as well as to try Every other method that can serve to Extirpate this Execrable Race. I should be very glad your Scheme for Hunting them Down by Dogs could take Effect, but England is at too great a Distance to think of that at present.

On July 26 Bouquet wrote back:

I received yesterday your Excellency’s letters of 16th with their Inclosures. The signal for Indian Messengers, and all your directions will be observed.

There is no conclusive evidence that Col. Bouquet actually acted on Amherst’s letter. However, during a subsequent Indian siege at Fort Pitt, Captain Simeon Ecuyer did. William Trent, commander of the local militia of the townspeople of Pittsburgh during Pontiac’s siege of the fort, wrote in his journal on May 24, 1763:

“… we gave them two Blankets and an Handkerchief out of the Small Pox Hospital. I hope it will have the desired effect.”

You know, Scenty is just stupid, Kate McMillan is an intermittently funny rabble rouser trapped by the worship of her own brownshirts, and Right Girl is just a deeply disturbed little kid defined by her own neuroses. But Shaidle… she actually approaches evil.