The Gospel According to Scenty
You know, I try not to pick on Canadian Sentinel. I really do. But every once in a while he says something so staggeringly stupid, so astonishingly uninformed, that…well, I’m a weak man.
This week’s treat (screenshot available in case it mysteriously disappears):
“There’s absolutely nothing in the Bible about “stoning”. That’s only found in the Koran.”
Now, this really shouldn’t astonish, given that this is a blogger who sincerely cannot tell the difference between Nazism and Communism, who believes that I’m a spy, who provides lengthy analyses of documents he’s never read, and whose idea of reliable source is a periodical that believes the planet is just over 6,000 years old.
But Scenty…if you’re going to tout the Bible as the source of your inspiration, you might consider actually…reading it. Crazy idea, eh? And if you did, you’d discover such passages as this (the little numbers at the end of each quote tell you where to look for words in the Bible, Scenty):
“A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:27″
“”And The Lord said to Moses … He who blasphemes the Name of The Lord shall be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him; the sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name, shall be put to death.” (Leviticus 24:13,16)
“”If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son, or your daughter, or the wife of your bosom, or your friend who is as your own soul, entices you secretly, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods … You shall stone him to death with stones, because he sought to draw you away from The Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.” (Deuteronomy 13:6,10 )
“If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her … and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel’s father shall say … these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. … But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die.” Deuteronomy 22:13-21
“If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city.” Deuteronomy 22:23-24
“They found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. … And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones…. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.” Numbers 15:32-56
“Achan … took of the accursed thing. … And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones. … So the LORD turned from the fierceness of his anger.” Joshua 7:1-26
“Thou didst blaspheme God and the king. And then carry him out, and stone him, that he may die. 1 Kings 21:10″
“There’s absolutely nothing in the Bible about “stoning”. That’s only found in the Koran.”
So it seems there is, in fact, quite a bit in the Bible about stoning, Scenty. Seems you were wrong. But what about the Koran?
Well, as a matter of fact, the Koran NEVER sanctions stoning. Not once.
This comic interlude has been brought to you by Canadian Sentinel. We now return you to sanity.
You beat me to the punch on this one Balb. I read his foolishness earlier and thought about doing a post similar to this.
Instead, I just shook my head, chuckled and carried on with my day. Actually, I was just too lazy to look up all the passages as you have done.
You forgot a big one from the New Testament – John 8:7.
Naw, there’s nothing about stoning in the Bible. Geesh.
And there there was that time when Jesus himself prevented the stoning of Marie Magdalene (then a whore) by, you know, saying his famous quote: “he who is without sin, cast the first stone”.
Just goes to show once again how fundies are notoriously ignorant of the very Bible they cherish so much …
No, no.
He meant the Cheech and Chong interpretation.
I should have mentioned in my first comment that your headline to this post is priceless. Gold!
It has been a lot of fun over the last two weeks watching Dodson time the Scentenator up in knots of mental frustration. This of course gives way to those wonderous, rambling and barely coherant screeds Scenty is so famous for delivering. Hopefully Peter won’t get banned soon.
It’s hilarious, isn’t it? Did you catch the bit where Scenty demands to be paid for responding to Peter’s questions?
Mentarch, I honestly don’t believe Scenty is a fundy. That would suggest he’s given some thought to what he stands for in this world. It’s much easier for him to be blindly for whatever the extreme right-wingnuts embrace and then take that to some ludicrous level. Scenty has few, if any, intellectual thoughts, just spittle flecked rages that move in random directions.
I have never really crossed paths with Canadian Sentinel before, or at least not that I remember, but I stopped by his blog and gave it quick once over,…. Oh man is this guy ever a loon. Seriously in the running of Werner Patels, Joel Johannesen, the Canadian Sentinel is the running for the most bat-shit crazy, retard of the Canadian Blogosphere. I know people take bent out of shape about Kate and her blog, but she has nothing on these three.
I’m afraid to go back, even though I left a question for Scentanal to answer (I wonder if he will approve the comment/question and answer it,… should be interesting), I afraid that if I return to his blog the spupid will rub off.
…And it was an excellent question you posed to Scenty Zorph.
Point of order: isn’t it the case that the Koran, the Torah and the Bible all share what we Christians consider to be the first five books of the Bible? And since you are quoting Deutoronomy, doesn’t that mean that stonings _are_ in the Koran?
But you are right: for anybody to suggest that ‘There’s absolutely nothing in the Bible about “stoning‒ is to be so ignorant as to be a laughing stock.
“Point of order: isn’t it the case that the Koran, the Torah and the Bible all share what we Christians consider to be the first five books of the Bible?”
Nope. The Koran is the transcription of revelations to Mohammad. Islam acknowledges the Pentateuch as divine revelation, but they are not part of the Koran.
He still doesn’t get it though, man it is like arguing with a mud brick.
This may be Scenty’s greatest comment ever. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or pee myself when I read it. So I did all three at once.
“”AS for Canada currently, no, we’re not in a position to launch a unilateral strike against China. Of course not! The idea is laughable, thanks to what the Liberals did to the military.”"
Here’s an idea I’d promote on his site, if he hadn’t banned me.
He’s got this bizarre idea in his head that “leftists” (i.e., anyone who disagrees with him about anything) love the Chinese Government and hate Falun Gong, Tibetans, and others critical of China. (He seems utterly oblivious to the whole movement in support of Tibet, Hollywood Liberals fawning over the Dalai Lama, and all that. Too Complicated…AAKKK…MUST SIMPLIFY)…but I suspect that’s because “Jana” from Falun Gong (you know, the “reporter” who declared that I was a Communist Spy) is finding him a useful mouthpiece.
Anyway, in his books, Stephen Harper going to China, paying lip service to human rights, and doing nothing specific afterwards is somehow more heroic than Paul Martin going to China, paying lip service to human rights, and doing nothing specific afterwards was.
At the same time, he has been railing indignantly about the Olympics, and what a crime it is that Canadians continue to support this travesty hosted by those nasty Chinese.
So…why isn’t Scenty lobbying the Harper Government to pull the Canadian Team out? What a perfect way for Harper to demonstrate that he really means all that rhetoric! Surely Scenty can’t condemn the world for supporting the Olympics in China while his own beloved Stephen and the Conservatives appear to be endorsing them by letting Canada participate? For SHAME, Scenty! Show us your sincerity!
Scenty – Foamy. Coincidence? No.