I am in Kingston this weekend with a group of new divers, and last night we went out for a group dinner to Chez Piggy following two great dives. Post-dive conversations often take a strange, euphoric bounce into odd corners, and our little group had a wonderful discussion, no doubt inspired by the excellent meal, about an odd topic:

What are the best-ever movies about food?

One must initially decide what constitutes a movie “about food”. We agreed that the plot of the film itself had to center around the preparation, presentation and/or consumption of food. That ruled out movies that simply involve brilliant food scenes (I’m thinking of the great scene in Godfather in which Clemenza teaches Michael to make spaghetti sauce, or the wonderful Travolta/Jackson discussion about mayonnaise, french fries, and quarter pounders), or films that simply had food in the title). Food had to be the motor that drove the story forward.

Having said all that, though, the really great food films are not really about food at all, any more than Hamlet is about murder. Food may be the dominant narrative driver, but a great food film makes a broader statement about…well, you decide. Here’s the list we came up with: a moment’s respectful silence for the many glasses of wine that sacrificed themselves in its creation.

1) Tampopo

One of my all time favourite films, inexplicably not available on DVD. Goro, a Clint-Eastwood like taciturn long distance Japanese truck driver arrives at a run down roadside noodle shop managed by Tampopo, a lovely but worn-out widow. When a couple of the patrons insult her noodles (really), he invites them to step outside…and gets the crap beaten out of him. Next morning he wakes up in her house. She presses him to be honest about her noodles, and he reluctantly gives her a gourmet’s critique. (”They have sincerity, but they lack depth…”) Thus begins a hilarious quest for the perfect noodle, in which he acts as her mentor/guru, and we are introduced to the mysteries of noodle cuisine, as well as a mysterious gang of homeless gourmet beggars, who only rummage through the garbage cans of the very best restaurants.

This story is weird and wonderful enough, but periodically the camera will pick up on and follow a character who walks through a scene into an entirely unrelated but food-centred story. To make it even stranger, this is all apparently a film being watched by a Yakuza style gangster and his girlfriend, who are intermittently shown having wild, food-related sex. It’s all a bit difficult to describe, but trust me - if you like movies, this is one you absolutely have to see.

What’s it REALLY about? Japanese culture, American movies, and the rituals associated with food as a social glue.

2) Babette’s Feast

A French woman, fleeing political unrest in France, takes up residence as a cook with two unmarried, austere women on the stark, grey coast of Jutland. Their community is a collection of simple thatched homes, and they live a life of simple Christian poverty and simplicity. Their small, elderly congregation (founded by their father) dwindles year by year, and bitterness and infighting have begun to erode its solidarity.

Babette is suddenly informed that she has come into some money, and offers to create a French dinner for the sisters and their congregation to celebrate the 100th birthday of the founder. The sisters agree, reluctantly - they don’t want to offend Babette, but there’s something not quite right about paying too much attention to food. The congregation decides to accept the supper, but agree quietly among themselves that they will NOT allow themselves to enjoy it.

The last forty minutes or so of the the film - the preparation of the feast, and the feast itself - may be the most loving portrayal of food ever put on film. It is pure joy.

What’s it REALLY about? Love, regret, serenity and resolution, and the recognition that sensual joy is part of God’s bounty, and can be a path to spiritual insight.

3) Like Water for Chocolat

The story is simple: Tita (Lumi Cavazos), the youngest of three daughters on a Mexican ranch, is madly in love with Pedro. Tradition, however, demands that the youngest daughter cannot marry; her job is to cook and take care of her mother. So Pedro marries Tita’s oldest sister, as close as he can come to marrying Tita herself. They establish an incredible sensual relationship based on food, pouring all her passion into delicious meals. Each meal carries its own special, erotic message. Make sure to eat before you see this one: otherwise you will collapse from hunger when she serves the Cornish hens.

What’s it REALLY about? Sex, love, passion, tradition vs. modernity, and magic.

4) La Grande Bouffe

Four fat middle aged guys get together and decide to eat themselves to death. And do. That’s pretty much it.

The other films listed here are all about the redemptive power of food or cooking. This one, however, is a truly black comedy, in extremely poor taste (Monty Python fans will recognized the inspiration for Mr. Creosote), with vomiting, fart jokes, and a famous exploding toilet. While all the other films will make you hungry; this one may make you sick. Occasionally pretentious, frequently disgusting, it’s nevertheless a powerful and important piece of movie making.

What’s it REALLY about? Empty hedonism, the power of film to repel, and, if you’re so inclined, the lethal impact of consumerism on the human spirit.

5) Ratatouille

I’m not sure whether I think this is the best film of the summer yet…but it’s close. It’s certainly the best of the Disney-Pixar collaborations; its chase sequences are better conceived and directed than Die Hard and Bourne combined; and the quality, detail and imagination of the animation is astonishing. But what really drives this movie is a very strange, very impassioned creation; Remy, the Rat-Who-Would-Be-Chef, who is completely possessed by his desire to cook. Strange to say this about a kid’s film, but I don’t remember seeing a more convincing portrayal of artistic passion since Alec Guinness’s Gully Jimson. I have no idea what kids will make of that, but at least one of the writers knows what it means to be obsessed with creation.

What’s it REALLY about? All the usual Disney-Hallmark messages (you can be whatever you want to be, don’t let obstacles stand in your way, etc.) But really? It’s about being driven by your muse. Believe it or not.

Now I’m hungry.