Triumphantly, to no-ones surprise, Right Girl pulled off an astonishing 72% of the vote with her inspired reverie about Monty Solberg being hacked to pieces by smiling Somali businessmen. It’s really that kind of insight into the mind of Conservative Canada that makes Conucopia worthwhile for us.

Congratulations to Right Girl, and we’ll no doubt see you back here someday. To the other contestants - don’t worry. Shed that last bit of reason, ditch that last flickering spark of compassion, and you too can be a contender.