I know, I know, I was as surprised as I’m sure you are but after further consideration of our Beloved Leaders GST cutting plan, and countless hours of research and painstaking calculations, there is no other conclusion that can be arrived at.

As Mr. Harper (we’ll be refering to him in more respectful terms now that he has joined the cause) says, “A cut to GST benefits everyone”, not only that but a 1% across the board cut to the GST that everybody pays results in an absolutely 100% equal 1% cut for everyone, and the very best part of it all is that each person gets to save according to their ability to spend.

It’s perfect socialism, “each according to their ability”. Quite frankly everyone in the bunker is collectively stunned that we didn’t see it earlier. Poor balbulican, bless him, headed for the mead vats to celebrate as soon as he got over the initial shock of it all, treehugger remains unconvinced, oh he’s got a mug of mead in his hand to be sure but he’s still running the numbers just to make sure…. as for me, pass the mead and praise be to all the gods who are and ever were; we knew that if we were patient, we knew that if we worked hard, we knew that if we believed in ourselves, and the great work, that it would eventually happen - and it has, my friends, mainstream Conservatism has finally seen the light!!

For any of you who doubt this it’s really very simple.

If you can afford to buy a brand new $40,000.00 SUV you save $400.00 on it, and if you can only afford a used $4,000.00 pickup truck you save $40 — forget the actual numbers, forget the actual dollar savings, look at the percentages dammit, everybody saved 1%!! It’s true, do the math yourself.

– not only that, it works for everything!! Watch this, if you can afford to buy a 42″ flat screen TV from Future Shop for 1999.99 you save $20.00 dollars, if you can only afford a 13″ Prima (from the very same store even) for $49.97 you save 50 cents — again, forget the actual numbers, forget the actual dollar savings, look at the percentages, everybody saved a full and undeniable 1%!!

Now that the Conservatives have fully embraced the philosophy of “each according to their ability” let us, brothers and sisters all on both the left and the right, put aside our petty bickering and move forward into a new age of friendship and cooperation.


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