Since introducing faithful readers to Lily Cheung, one of our highly esteemed Bunkerettes, Stageleft has been overwhelmed with correspondence. So far we’ve received:
- Seven marriage proposals (including heartfelt declarations of love from Treehugger, Occam, and Peter Rempel, all of whom were so heartbroken by Lily’s gentle refusal that they quit blogging altogether);
- A somewhat less formal proposal from Mike, inappropriate for discussion on a family-friendly blog;
- An offer of a complimentary makeover from the Salon Aesthetique Roxanne, in Pointe Gatineau, Quebec;
- An invitation to participate in the Xin Hua network’s upcoming “Beijing Idol” series.
But by far the most frequent question was simply: “What exactly does Lily DO at the Bunker?”
Well, we can answer that. Lily is the Senior Communications Analyst and Monitor (SCAM). She heads up a small team of specialists who steal mail, tap phones, eavesdrop on satellite transmissions, hack into computer systems, get advance copies of the new Harry Potter - that kind of thing - and provide summaries to the evil leftists overseers we report to, in order to hasten the collapse of western civilization as we know it. Remember the Bush-Blair memo last week? That was one of Lily’s little discoveries.
She just handed me a freshly decrypted pair of emails that shed some welcome light on the long, harrowing summer of Stephen Harper.
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From: Stephen Harper[mailto:El_Jefe@cpoc.ca]
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2005 11:15 AM
To: Prime Minister Paul Martin
Subject: Our Little Bet
I have to admit I had my doubts when you suggested “a friendly little Village People parody” to “show Canadians the lighter side of their leaders”. And you should have seen the look on Tom Flanagan’s face when I told him I had agreed to attend the Stampede as a gay cowboy, if you’d attend the Assembly of First Nations meeting as a gay Indian. I thought he’d pop a blood vessel. But you know, I have to admit - I think that leather thing sort of works for me. Can’t WAIT to see your Indian drag…is Ethel Blondin helping you out?
———————————————-
From: Sent: Monday, July 18, 2005 11:15 AM
To: Stephen Harper
From: The Right Honourable Paul Martin, Prime Minister
Subject: RE: Our Little Bet
Steve, the leather looked great…gave you the same sort of athletic, manly aura that Stockwell had in neoprene.
Bad news, though… it looks like I won’t be able to make it to the AFN… other commitments. Sorry. it would have been SUCH a great gag.
Enjoy the barbecues!
Had Colin Powell been in on this bet? Seems to me I remember a very painful version of YMCA…
I have it on very good evidence that Paul Martin actually asked Anne McLellan to fill in for him in the gay Indian role, but she wouldn’t do it unless Monte Solberg made good on his assertion that “I would rather dive head first into a wood chipper than pretend that I’m okay with how things are” (http://www.montesolberg.com/blog.htm).